Heartbeat
by Hana Rui
Summary: On-Hold Can a single heartbeat change the fate of two forlorn souls? A Hunter X Hunter Cardcaptor Sakura Crossover… Pairing: Killua Zoldick x Meilin Li
1. Prologue

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Title: Heartbeat

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Author: S.G.O.

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Description: A Card Captor Sakura-Hunter X Hunter Crossover Fiction

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Genre: Non-yaoi / Romance / Supernatural

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Pairing: (main) Killua x Meilin

_"In the coldness of the damned raging world  
That is my life  
A warm, tender wind prances by  
Carrying with it a pacifying sound  
A soft gentle heartbeat  
Singing a song of change  
And the rhythm of a strange feeling..."_

**P R O L O G U E**

Blood. Fresh warm blood. The thick gush of blood streaming down the side of its body may have been the most repulsive sight this creature would ever see had it the ability to. The foul coppery monoxide smell of blood may have been the most disgorging aroma it would ever smell had it been spared a pair of nostrils. And fleeing from the gory scene may have been its best resort had it been given a pair of running legs. But this creature was made to be doomed forever in this place. Too heavy and too stocky to even carry itself, it always ended up being a captive audience to every play and fray that would happen to unfold in this park. And with its lower beak pulled down far enough to reach the ground, it could but barely make a noise, were it to be given a chance.

This was the well-known park-slide called Penguin King, celebrated and respected by the whole town of Tomoeda. Yet, on that certain night, it was but reduced to a status of disgrace.

A brown-headed teenage boy was sprawled face flat on the ground beside it, his hand grasped around the handle of a bloody sword. He seemed to have been in a kind of slaughter, perhaps involving the two girls lying in the puddles of their own blood a couple of inches away from him. Not sparing the two strange creatures--an overgrown dog with gaudy headgear and a silver-haired, winged being--lying not far away. A while ago, the night was filled with cries of pain and agony. But now, an eerie, almost chilling silence hung over the place.

A gush of wind blew through the park, compelling a hand to draw casually up and hold back a clump of dark-brown hair from covering a smooth angelic face. But, of course, looks can be deceiving (as what has often been proven). A cold-blooded devil can deftly hide his fatal fangs behind a harmless face.

The wind soon passed. Illumi crossed his arms over his chest and gazed at the spike-haired youth frowning at him from a distance of about twelve feet. He never thought he would hear those words come out from his brother's lips. Was the little twerp serious? Did he even know what he was saying? How long had he been in this town? One month? Was that enough to make this much change in his brother? Was the little black-haired vixen of that much influence to pacify the cold-blooded devil inside the Zoldick heir? 

"That's the reason why I'm not coming home with you," Killua's voice was even and determined.

"I see," Illumi's was calm yet onerous. "But that doesn't mean I'm letting you decide for yourself."

The younger Zoldick clenched his fists angrily and snarled, "Why won't you just leave me alone?"

"I would if I had a choice," Illumi uttered in a tone both mocking and defiant as he began advancing toward his brother.

Killua caught his breath and gasped faintly. He was beginning to feel a kind of chill run down his spine, rousing a considerable number of goosebumps around his body. Strange, how his brother always managed to stir this despicable feeling in him. Cold sweat began to break on his forehead. He ground his teeth in an attempt to stop his bones from shaking.

Visibly enjoying the sorry sight of his brother writhing slightly from uncertainty and fear, Illumi deliberately slackened his pace, reducing his steps to mere minces as he spoke, "But the thing is, I am concerned for these people. Especially that girl." He jutted his chin out to the black-haired girl lying unconsciously on the ground behind Killua. "I'll never forgive myself if I leave you here and you end up killing her sooner or later-"

"That won't happen!" Killua snapped. "I've changed. Changed completely. I'm no longer the cold-blooded killer you and father have brought me up to be! I am a normal kid now and I feel good about it. I'm never gonna kill anyone ever again!"

Illumi paused in his tracks, a slightly aghast expression spreading through his usually expressionless face. Even though he heard it from those same pair of stubborn lips before, it somehow sounded different now. As though more coercion had been put into each word. More power and determination...

A light breeze blew through the gap between him and his brother, creating a small eddy of leaves and dust that vanished as soon as it appeared. After a while, Illumi's countenance relaxed, even allowing him to curve his lips into a smirk. "Normal," he muttered derisively. "I see. So another freak has fallen into your trap, eh? Just like that other friend of yours. What was his name again? Gon?"

At the sound of the name, Killua's body froze. His eyes began to zone out and his heartbeat became rugged, sending a bitter lump to his throat.

"I think I warned you about him, too," Illumi casually put a forefinger to his cheek and continued in a teasing voice. "Poor kid. From the very start I knew what was to be his fate. But the two of you were too stubborn to heed."

"I didn't kill him," Killua muttered under his breath. He was trying hard, though without much success, to fight off the bitterness that was threatening to tip him over.

"Of course, you didn't _exactly_ kill him," Illumi resumed his approach. "But he died saving your life. What are the chances that that won't happen again, hm?" The oniisan turned his gaze meaningfully at the still unconscious lass as a taunting smile began to touch his lips. "By the way, may I ask what did you do while your friend was being killed?"

Killua's breath caught again and he gasped--louder this time--as his eyes began to moisten.

Illumi, who was now standing in front of his brother, gasped, "Don't tell me you just stood there and watched him die?! How cruel of you, Kil!" he exclaimed in mock disbelief, his as-big-as-saucer eyes bulging.

Killua bent his head low and closed his eyes tightly to keep the tears from arrantly gushing out. "I didn't..." His voice came out small and trembling. "I... didn't... mean..."

"And you call yourself normal," Illumi's taunting words rung in Killua's ears and deftly made their way to his heart, jabbing at it with fatal intensity. Up until now, he didn't know why he had let such a thing happen. The memory of Gon dying right before his very eyes was like a recurring nightmare. Vivid and taunting...

"Killua!" he thought he heard his friend's voice from that fateful night. And it added yet another husky lump on the gall that was already occupying his heart. Killua's eyes now looked void and empty. Illumi was right. What was he thinking? A Zoldick would never have a normal life. Never! He looked at the severely wounded bodies of his new friends. No. He couldn't let it happen again. He couldn't let them die because of him. He couldn't let them have the same fate as Gon's...

"Gon..." he muttered under his breath, his eyes fixed on a distant nothingness. Completely losing all sense of sensibility, he drew his right hand close to his chest and clawed five long wounds on it before sinking weakly to his knees, his head bent low.

"We were born to kill, Killua," the words sounded faint but distinct to his ears. "And we will forever live by it."

Killua closed his eyes tightly and for the first time in weeks let a gush of warm, bitter tears wet his face... 

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A/N: The proceeding chapters will flash us back to how this certain event came about. Please do read on... ^-^


	2. Meilin POV

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Disclaimer: I forgot to put one of these in the Prologue, but ain't it obvious yet that I don't own any of these characters? Too bad, ne? =P

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**MEILIN** __

(POV) 

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Cherry blossoms...

Well, yeah. Those pink little flowers that pour their petals down on Tomoeda (if not the whole of Japan) in autumn and the blooming of which is looked upon as a divine spectacle in spring. They seem to represent much of this country's traditions. And their beauty... their existence... Everything about them seems to point to something positive. Something awe-inspiring. Something nice and happy.

So why does a single floret cause me this much pain? 

Sakura Kinomoto...

Yeah, right. The prettiest, nicest, COOLEST girl Syaoran has ever met. Come to think of it, it has been a year since they got together. And not by simple means, mind you. A lot of factors had to first make them realize their feelings for each other (me included) and it took a forlorn and lonesome Clow Card (The Emptiness) and its transformation into a Sakura Card (The Hope) to pull them close together and thrust them both into the swirling eddy of sweet and infinite love. I used to think it was the most exciting thing.

So why is it causing me this much tears now?

I don't mean to sound bitter so gomen if I sound that way to you. And please don't ask me to justify my tears. 'Coz no matter how many times you prod me to, there just seems to be no justification. I promised myself I'd never cry this way again for Syaoran. But it's awfully hard to keep all the pain inside especially if lump after lump of it kept adding up every time I would see them together while I stand cold and alone from afar. It's scorching and desiccating, this feeling that would occupy my heart whenever I see them holding each other's hand or laughing at something together. The sight of them never failed to bring to my memory that time when Syaoran brought my lost bird back amidst heavy rain. Or the countless times he would stand in front of me in protective stance before an enemy. I always knew he's a sweet guy, caring and loving though a little aloof and snobbish at times...

...Then one day I just suddenly realized how much I was missing and how much more I am going to miss.

It sucks, but that's the truth.

I think I'm falling once again for Syaoran...

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	3. Chapter One: First Beat

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CHAPTER ONE: FIRST BEAT 

The spike-haired youth shuffling through the now empty park in the middle of the night could easily scare off a chance by-passer. Though he looked ordinary at a glimpse with his attire of black, long-sleeved turtleneck, plain shorts and travel boots, there was still about him an aura that latently suggested something unspeakable.

After all, ordinary can never justify a realistic description of an assassin. Especially if he's a Zoldick.

The midnight sky was bleak and the air heavy and gelid with the coming rain. The thick clouds seemed to have accumulated in commiseration to the ostensibly harrowed spirits of the kid. He walked on, head bent low and hands dug deep in his pockets. His steps were almost staggering, suggestive of the heaviness of the gall he was carrying inside--that which had filled his heart with resounding vacuity.

The wind blew pass him, ruffling the spikes of his hair. But even this playful attempt at thawing his passivity yielded no change in his emotion. Or rather, his lack of it. He seemed to have no idea where he was or how long he had been walking. Not that he cared. After all, nothing mattered much to him anymore. Ever since the one thing he had learned to treasure the most was swept by the cruel hands of death right before his very eyes, he knew life would never be the same for him again.

"Gon…" he didn't mean to say it, but his lips seemed to have a mind of their own and uttered the one name that could deftly bring tears to his eyes. And it could've done so at that moment, but there were no more tears to cry. All the tears had gushed out from his eyes, and yet the loneliness stayed etched in his heart. In his soul. In his whole being.

A faint sound close to a sob escaped his throat, but he ignored it along with the bitterness that it brought. He couldn't let this feeling get the best of him anymore. With the death of his bestest friend in the world, all hope and possibility of his ever changing into a different being--a normal kid--vanished as well. It had been quite a while since he turned his back on the person he used to be and was supposed to be. Now it seemed to be his only escape out of this agony... this misery... this pain...

For there was no use anymore to try to be normal. His attempt at being a normal kid had but denied him (almost completely) the glory and serenity of lobotomy--the inability to feel.

It was time to be back to who he really was.

And as though unanimously agreeing to his abrupt decision, claps of thunder roared through the sky. Slowly, he raised his head and looked ahead, his eyes reflecting the devilish side of his being. He stopped in his tracks upon seeing an approaching figure. A potential victim walking straight into his trap. An evil sneer began to curve his lips. His hand itched with the kind of thrill he felt whenever he was about to kill someone.

That was what he was about to do right now. And he wasn't doing this for money or for anybody else. He was gonna do this… for himself.

After all, he was Killua Zoldick.

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Meilin had caught sight of the kid when the first bolt of lightning blazed the midnight sky. But she didn't feel the numbing chill until the ensuing thunder rumbled through the heavens. She could swear she saw the kid's eyes flash with virulence as he looked straight at her. The expression on his face seemed to spell something sinister--a deadly omen undoubtedly meant for her.

And why the kid suddenly stopped walking about a yard away from her with that infernal smile on his lips, she could only begin to guess. All she knew was that things were getting really freaky, she was starting to regret she ever thought of coming here in the first place.

SYAORAN! she wanted to cry out, but had to stop herself when her legs suddenly froze, refusing to take another step. She actually had to struggle to regain her balance and keep herself upright. _Oh no!_ she thought in a panic as she cast her frightened eyes at the kid who had now begun advancing toward her. She could already feel her heart thumping in her chest. Her breaths became rugged as cold, paralyzing fear flooded her nerves. She knew she shouldn't let this get the best of her, but what was she to do? It's true that she was trained in martial arts and may have a chance at kicking this guy's ass should he try to start something with her. And she would actually do just that right about now, if only he weren't looking at her as though he was thinking of maiming her and drinking her blood to satisfy his devilish thirst. Her senses were slowly deteriorating, but she still had enough left to know she absolutely was no match for this creature from hell.

She knew she had to get out of there fast! If only her legs would start cooperating…

Then she realized she was beginning to get a little too panicky. Maybe the kid didn't mean to give her that look at all. Maybe she was just making too much out of the situation. Suspecting an innocent stranger out on a leisurely walk in the park… well yeah, it was just like her all right.

But why wouldn't his ghastly smile disappear? The murderous look in his eyes which were unwaveringly locked on her? And why was he out so late in the night? For crying out loud, why was she?

She couldn't help but sigh over the matter. She only needed space. A quiet, peaceful place where she could think things over and somehow be able to rid herself of all the bitterness and pain that had been occupying her heart for quite a while now. She never expected to be met by such an acquaintance. All she wanted was to be alone. _Even just for a while, _she thought imploringly as she closed her eyes tightly. _I need time to think, to clear my fogged up mind…_

…To treat my dying heart…

She absolutely didn't need to be bothered by a demented kid, whoever he may be or from what part of hell he came from. Why wouldn't guys just disappear so she could have some peace of mind? Syaoran. And now this monster! The fear she was feeling a while ago dissolved into the hatred that began to rise to her head. Her brows crossed with fury as her fist clenched in rage. She wouldn't ever let any guy hurt her anymore. Not Syaoran, nor this kid, nor any of the billion other jerks roaming around the planet.

She would show them all what Meilin Li was all about.

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The look that the girl gave him when she opened her eyes rattled Killua's senses. He stopped short of thrusting his clawed hand into her chest. His whole body froze--his legs in lunged position and his right hand aimed for the kill. _NO!_ he thought with a start as his eyes shed off the deathly look. His lips gaped open as he looked straight into those eyes. Those eyes that were so full of anger and determination. And courage. Almost as if he was looking into… _his_ eyes.

His heart began thrashing violently around his chest. "G… G…"

A strong gush of wind blew pass them causing one of the girl's waist long ponytails to brush against his cheek. _Black… Black hair! _"GON!" he muttered under his breath, as tears began to well in his eyes. 

Above them, the second bolt of lightning streaked the dark sky.

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Meilin couldn't contain the anger any longer. The moment her eyes snapped open, her wrath had risen up to a level that was now impossible to pacify. She needed to show this punk what she could do.

She felt a burning heat run through the nerves of her right arm down to her clenched fist. How dare this stranger think he could just barge here and pick a fight with anybody? How dare he think of picking at her, of all people?

She didn't know when her arm began to swing toward the kid's face. The next thing she could remember was the pain on her fist and the figure of the kid flailing helplessly in the air. The groan that escaped his throat as his body hit the ground several inches away blended with the rumbling thunder.

For a moment, Meilin thought the kid was gonna stand up to retaliate. But he didn't. He wasn't even flinching, for heaven's sake! At this point, Meilin felt a little anxious. She only meant to give the guy a lesson. Not kill him!

She instantly ran to his limp body and was taken aback when she saw him… _Crying?_ There was blood oozing from his nose and mouth, but Meilin didn't notice this as much as she did the tears dropping off the sides of his eyes. She didn't know why but she suddenly felt sorry for hurting him. Perhaps it was the bitterness that she saw in those cat-shaped eyes that were gazing blankly into the sky. Like… Like… he had just lost something, or someone important. Just like her…

She dropped to her knees beside him… And cried with him, their stifled sobs adding acrid notes to the pelting of heavy raindrops on the ground.

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	4. Killua POV

**KILLUA** __

(POV) 

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Sometimes I can't help but wonder if I really am meant to be a Zoldick…

I've always considered my life a curse. An anathema of endless doom. It may not show much that I care, but I really do. Being in a family of professional assassins is tough. Tougher still when I discovered my impairing handicap--my heart.

Yes, it is a handicap. A person born, trained and fated to kill professionally shouldn't have been given that particular pumping, feeling fragment of life. I shouldn't have been given a life in the first place.

I meant to run away from my fate when I decided to leave home. I've always hated it there. How my ojiisan, otousan, and okaasan were all bent on turning me into a cold-blooded manslayer. A relentless, merciless killing machine when all I ever wanted was to live a normal life. Know how it feels to be a normal kid. Playing, laughing... just plainly frolicking around with my friends.

I found the friends I was looking for. But not the simple life I've always wanted. Yet still, it had been with them that I felt fun and excitement in the truest sense. It was with them that I felt I truly belonged.

I was enjoying myself very much that I didn't really notice my fate hovering so close to me until it went and overtook my course. And it got its rightful revenge on me by taking away the one thing... the one person that I've learned to treasure the most--my best friend.

That crashed me, angered me, smashed me up to my very soul. I found myself running away again. Not ever wanting my fate to re-claim me. But the bitterness and the loneliness that overcame my heart were just so piercingly intense that I soon found myself falling back into the person I was supposedly brought up to be--KILLUA ZOLDICK, the unfeeling assassin. The killing machine who barely had control of himself.

Then 'she' came and snapped me out of that madness in exactly the same passion that Gon Freecs would've done so. She reminded me so much of that kid, who readily and unconditionally accepted my acquaintance even after knowing about my background, that the moment my eyes locked on her chestnut colored ones, I felt the fire of hope slowly rekindling within my heart. That punch she gave me was more than enough to wake me out of my old self. And the tears she cried with me in the rain warmed me up in a way that I thought would never be possible again...

It is because of that fateful encounter that I am taking this risk and re-opening my heart up to new acquaintances. Hoping against all hope that my fate will finally get tired of trying to win me back and just leave me alone for good.

Gon never gave up on me even in the very last second of his life. I should then do the same and live my life as normally as I could.

As normally as he would've liked me to...

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	5. Chapter Two: Wishful Thinking

**CHAPTER TWO: WISHFUL THINKING**

Meilin was rudely awakened out of another Syaoran-infested dream by a crudely and shamelessly delivered whack on her butt. In her waking annoyance, she swung an arm toward the culprit and would've deftly hit him square on the face had not the said culprit acted fast enough to save himself.

"Geez, that was close!" he exclaimed with relief.

The flushing, raven-haired girl sat up among her rumpled blanket and cast a piercing glare at the pervert who had all the nerves to stick his filthy hand on her precious ass. She saw him wipe out a non-existent sweat from his forehead while sighing in an exaggeration that seemed to mock every single one of her girlish hormones--which was exactly what it did.

"You prick!" came her initial outburst. "You... you... PERVERTED MANIAC!"

"Perverted? Me?" the spike-haired guy leaning on the door cried in utter astonishment. "But I was just waking you up!"

"You didn't have to touch me!" she snapped.

"I wasn't touching you!" he snapped back. "You wish!"

Meilin's temper burst in an all-out chaotic fracas that choked and pierced and tortured her ego in a way that numbed her up with both embarrassment and rage. She was thinking of a hundred different ways to maim him up to get back at him for the insult he had done to her sensitivity when the unbelievably tactless guy suddenly doubled over with laughter. The Chinese girl's head almost literally steamed from so much anger.

"You call me perverted when you were the one mumbling and saying all these twisted stuffs in your sleep!" the loathsome imp chortled.

Meilin's jaw dropped in shock as more barrels of blood rose to her cheeks. God, this kid didn't just hear her talking in her sleep, did he?

"And you were moaning and gasping and was doing all these weird sounds!" the kid went on nonchalantly.

Now that was way too exaggerated... "SCREW YOU!" the utterly irked and humiliated Meilin exclaimed, finally overcoming the initial numbness to make a hysterical attack. The nimble guy immediately jumped off her path and was in a blink standing a couple of feet away to her left, hands casually stuck in the pockets of his school pants.

"And you say I'm perverted," he said mockingly. "Ms. "Screw-you"!"

Meilin growled angrily and made another lunge for the arrogant, laughing jerk who only jumped off once again and evaded her fuming fist. He was now standing behind her and she was now beyond rational reasoning. Her rage had just blinded her and she went on attacking him in vain as he in turn bounced and practically flew all around the room, all the while laughing his head off and taunting her clumsiness and slow-paced assaults.

Meilin's ire escalated with each jeer and she went on thrashing around the room--alternately punching and kicking the air in a desperate attempt to avenge her awfully disgraced existence. Her long, disheveled hair flailed about her in a crazy maelstrom that served to manifest the intensity of her fury. Her chestnut eyes were just flashing with vengeance…

This went on for a few more minutes until Meilin, having turned in an awkward angle, lost her footing and began toppling forward. The spike-haired kid instantly sprung in front of her and caught her by the shoulders, his grip firm and tight.

"Klutz," he scoffed, an impish grin stretched widely on his lips.

But the impetuous kid should've known better than to incite an already angry girl to a deadlier wrath. Meilin's eyes glinted with vengeful mischief a second before she furiously and forcibly drove her right knee to his groin... o

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Killua's world reeled wildly as soon as he felt the numbing pain _down there_. His hands slipped off Meilin's shoulders and cupped around his aching possession as he wilted to his knees, wincing and groaning pathetically.

"What was I saying?" the girl's voice was hard and defiant and went straight through the agonized Zoldick's ego--if he still had it, that is. "What did you hear me say in my sleep?"

"Nothing," Killua had to actually force that single word through his throat, pass the long queue of groans still waiting to be released.

Clearly not pleased by his weasly answer, the brawly girl's foot immediately made contact with his gut. He wheezed and clutched his smarting stomach as he consequently bent over, forehead hitting the cold floor.

"Liar!" came the angry accusation. And actually, that _exactly_ was the whole deal...

Killua raised his head up to his tormentor in an attempt to defend his sorry self... somehow. "You weren't saying anything! I was lying!" Another kick to his side bore his face back to the floor as he snorted and recoiled like a helpless fetus. God! Was he that convincing a liar that he could make even the truth sound very much like a lie too? Or did it come along with the reputation?

Why the heck did he even agree to brave this room in the first place and wake this grouchy _angel_ from the darkest side of hell? A few minutes ago, he would've--though rather distraitly--compared her to a cherubim from God's court while he was watching her in peaceful slumber. And it would've been his biggest mistake, of course, if he did. That sleeping girl he had watched with subtle amusement back then was human. This girl standing before him now was a monster!

He had never expected that simple waking whack could incite this much anger in her. What else could he do when she wouldn't even budge by milder means?

Luckily enough, before his body could get literally mangled by the abominable amazon hovering over him, the door cautiously creaked open and let in an unexpected savior. Killua had never even imagined he'd actually owe his life to this particular guy...

"What are the two of you up to now?" the ever-incredulous Chinese brunet asked, frowning first at Meilin, then at him. Killua swore by his life that the guy's frown became darker and fiercer the moment it was cast on him. Well, how could he expect a highly speculative guy to learn to trust him in a week anyway?

"We were just... having fun!" Meilin sputtered--a little too enthusiastically for Killua's liking. The irksome girl even had the guts to paste a façade of innocence over her diabolical face that he had to practically keep himself from strangling her right then and there.

Or, perhaps, he could use some unnatural means to get even...

"Oh," Syaoran said, looking unconvinced. "Then what is that kid doing on the floor?"

The spike-haired youth bristled at the look of contempt the brown-haired kid was giving him. Add to that the fact that he had just referred to him as "that kid" as though he had never heard of his name. Was it too much to ask for this Chinese prick to at least remember his name after a week of living together in the same house? Not that he remembered his name in turn, anyway. But still, this snob's attitude was as subtly rude yet sharply disgracing as that of a certain chain-guy Killua could remember from the past. And he, coming from an elite family, had never really been used to such a kind of treatment.

He was now more than tempted to galvanize both of them with his highly powerful will...

"He tripped, of course!" the longhaired witch replied, following it up immediately with an appositely witchy laughter. "He's that clumsy, y'know!"

_Clumsy my ass!_ Killua thought spitefully, ever so aching to wrap this particular girl up in his aura and electrocute all of her pathetic cells to extinction.

_This once... Just this once..._ The desperate urge was echoing through every corner of his mind. _NO! _His hand balled into furious fists against his gut as he closed his eyes and willed himself to be patient for a little longer...

_Just a little bit longer..._

"Syaoran-kun!" a deep, amiable voice suddenly called out from downstairs. "Sakura-chan's on the phone!"

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Syaoran barely heard the butler's call as he was suddenly assaulted by a kind of feeling... That familiar, instinctive feeling that had always alerted his senses to the immediate environment, making him more cautious and aware...

He could not be mistaken. There was a kind of force lurking about the room and it seemed very powerful, though rather faint and unsteady. It was like, whoever was emitting it was fighting to keep it back deep into concealment. His eyes instantly darted to the kid, still doubled over in a pathetic ball on the floor. His eyes were closed rather tightly and he seemed to be mumbling a kind of mantra or something. He was even slightly trembling and was clutching his stomach a little too tightly--

"Syaoran?" Meilin's voice cut through his grave scrutiny of the kid. And as if on cue, the feeling abruptly disappeared as well.

"Syaoran-kun!" came another call.

"Sakura-chan's on the phone," Meilin informed him, curious frown still in place. "Are you okay?" she prodded when he suspiciously refused to budge.

Despite all attempts to sway his attention, Syaoran stared on grimly at the kid as the latter slowly pulled himself up to a sitting position and sighed. _What was that feeling?_ the perplexed youth wondered. _What was that force?_ Syaoran's frown deepened when the kid suddenly turned to him and met his gaze squarely, an equally incredulous glint dwelling in his dark blue eyes.

He had always thought this prick was no ordinary kid. Ever since the night Meilin brought him home and insisted on letting him stay and live with them, he knew there was more to him than what readily met the eye. Much, much more.

Still, he was rather astounded by the truthfulness of his own perception. And that force--powerful yet in its faintness and unsteadiness--was rather unnerving even for a guy like him...

"What is it, Syaoran?" Meilin asked, obviously noticing the way he and that kid were regarding each other. And, still reeling from the impact of that sudden unspoken revelation, Syaoran decided to just ignore the question. Anyway, he had no clear enough explanation to offer at this point. At least, nothing clear enough for a _powerless_ girl to fully understand.

"Syaoran-kun!"

A slightly annoyed sigh suddenly escaped Syaoran's throat. "Breakfast's ready," he said, giving the kid one last meaningful glare before turning and walking out of the room.

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For the first time since he came to that place, Killua Zoldick was in a panic._ God, that kid... he knows... but... how the hell--_

"Care to tell me about it?"

"W-What?" Killua was abruptly awakened out of his trance, his head instinctively turning to the source of the utterly demanding voice.

"Why were you guys staring at each other like that?" the scowling girl prodded on, her eyes flashing with the desperation to get into the same level of understanding that he had just shared with that Chinese prick.

That should clearly manifest her total ignorance of his... _real being._

Killua sighed and casually pulled himself up to his feet. It wasn't like he was gonna tell, right! He turned his back on her and headed for the door, pushing the anxiety off in exchange for his usual calm. So what if he knew? So what if he had been found out? That snoot could never prove it anyway, right? It was still up to him to make himself look normal and thus live a simple life, or give in to every recurring urge of using his nen and risk losing all that he had right now--

"Was it about... Sakura?" the unrelenting snoop's voice was quiet and cautious.

Killua halted right at the doorway, not even bothering to turn around. _Sakura who?_ he thought. Not one to care about girls all that much, he was rather... insulted. He would never be so stupid as to waste his precious time staring a guy down just because of some irksome girl!

_Then again..._ The spunky kid's eyes glinted with recurring mischief as his lips twisted in a baneful grin. "Are you jealous?"

Killua didn't know what exactly hit him. The next thing he knew, he was flying out of the doorway and was subsequently kissing the wall directly opposite from it.

"Jealous? Me?" the infuriated witch snarled. "You wish!"

The door was closed a little too violently as a swirly-eyed Killua slowly slipped to the floor.

So much for living a simple life.

**tbc**

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**A/N:** Er… excuse me if I seemed to have made the characters a bit OOC. -;;; It happens all the time… sigh 

**A/N II: **Actually, if you have watched Hunter X Hunter's 2nd and 3rd sets of OAV, Killua won't seem all that much OOC… Meilin does resemble Bisuke-chama in a way, don't you think? wink


	6. Sakura POV

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A/N: To all the people who have reviewed this fic in the past and recently--thank you thank you thank you so much! *huggles everyone*

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SAKURA __

(POV) 

__

I used to dream of the Tokyo tower--

Before Kero-chan and various other beings came and crossed my path in actuality, they first appeared in my dreams--my recurring subconscious visions of that fateful tower.

Kero-chan had once said that dreams are special. Powerful. That each bears a message, a warning of what is to come. And I believe him. After everything that happened to me and the cards in the past couple of years, I now have full understanding of the importance of valuing every dream that plays in my sleep. They have always been prophetic. Each one a monition that was so hard to ignore and forget. And they've always proved useful as well. Tirelessly giving me a hint on what was about to happen. And the assurance that I would be able to pull through--to come out victoriously no matter whatever.

I've not been having such dreams ever since I gained complete power over the cards. Life has been pretty normal from then on. Joyous and delightful. Especially now that Syaoran-kun gets to stay here for Junior High! I feel so blessed, so safe and calm now that I have all the people I love and care for in one place--my family, my friends, my koi...

The strange occurrences were but a memory of the past--or so it seems. After all, the magical cards have been caught and kept in their secured cradle and are now under my name and power. What could possibly go wrong?

Last night, I dreamt of the Tomoeda Park--

And it was a strange one. It left with me this feeling of anxiety... of agitation along with the downright disturbing knowledge that something is about to happen. Something bad... Something purely evil.

The sky was very dark as a mantle of maleficence, of a strong infernal force had so generously blotted out the moon and the stars. The Penguin King was crying a stream of red liquid--BLOOD! The whole park was stained by it. The ground, the trees, the benches--

And there were two strange beings standing face to face in the middle of the park. A tall, longhaired one and a shorter kid with spiked-hair. I couldn't quite discern their faces since they were shrouded in shadows. A diabolic obscurity that I was so suddenly afraid to unravel.

For there was one really important aspect that was missing from that dream. There was no assurance that I would be able to pull through what was about to come.

It was just plain... scary!

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	7. Chapter Three: Hormone Burst

**CHAPTER THREE: HORMONE BURST**

Killua sighed for about the umpteenth time that morning. When he agreed to come to school like any normal, decent teenager, he didn't really put much thought on the effort he would have to expend on gaining knowledge… and survival. HECK! He had never thought school could be so much of a torture. So much of a bore! He could not remember being so palled, so discomforted and tried of his patience by a dull, idle activity. God, it didn't even count as an activity! Compared to this, his life was a RIOT! It had always been bursting with activity! With… with… life!

What kind of life did these people live anyway? How could they stand the stuffiness of this room, heightened triple times by the tautness and seething discomfort of their blue, long-sleeved uniform? How could they steadily put up with the sheer stupidity of that lady in front prattling on about some folks from a very long time ago? Hell, what was so interesting about those creeps whose skeletons--he was sure--had by now merged with dirt?

"Don't make a face," the kid beside him whispered. "If she sees you, you're dead."

Killua turned to the meddling, slitty-eyed guy at the table to his right and couldn't help but deepen the frown of annoyance on his face.

"Look front," the guy whispered again, keeping his eyes unwaveringly stuck on the garrulous creature they call 'sensei' in mock respect [and 'bakemono' in pure juvenile fun]. He seemed so engrossed, so genuinely interested in whatever it was she was rambling about that Killua's irritation just went and burst several notches higher. _Damn these people to all corners of hell!_

Even after minutes of unwillingly basking in its lackluster dullness, he still couldn't understand what these people found so interesting in that ugly hag's face that they couldn't pry their eyes off it for even just a second. Even the layers of make up on it couldn't hide the horrid, putrid, sagging old look that nearly made Killua puke all over it when he saw it for the first time. Man, he'd rather spend the whole day staring at a pug's face than-- 

"Killua Zoldick!" the snarling call knelled through his ears and dispersed rather unceremoniously all bits of the demeaning, scornful thoughts he had been weaving up. "Perhaps there's something you'd like to share to the class?"

Killua's eyes instantly snapped up front and it took all of his will power to ward off the ridiculing smile from his lips and keep a straight face. "Er, no," he replied curtly, expertly masking his face with the same kind of innocent interest that his seatmate was wearing.

"Really?" the sensei inquired in a tauntingly incredulous voice, accompanied by an equally taunting frown that almost nettled Killua to insanity. "You seemed so seriously engrossed in examining Yamazaki-kun's face. Surely you've found something more interesting in it than in mine?"

Killua gulped at the suddenness of the retribution against him. Damn, this witch didn't just read his mind, did she? 

A ripple of stifled snickers spread through the room as a furious blush fought its way to the utterly mortified kid's pale cheeks. What was this lady trying to insinuate? That he's taking a shameless interest on this… ugh, GUY???

Never really one to handle karma with the same professionalism he possessed as an assassin, Killua, needless to say, was completely pissed. His fists instinctively curled into furious balls as the irrepressibly demanding urge to mutilate a flesh rushed through his veins. His eyes were slowly losing their glow-- _Hold on…_ he coaxed himself, darting his slowly vacating glare to the table. He sensed a slight, uncomfortable stir behind him but in his present state of mind--even if a stray lizard jumped into his uniform--he could only care less.

__

Just hold…

"Do you find my class senseless and boring?" the **_bakemono_** went on, casually crossing her arms over her chest to match the authority she was manifesting. Apparently, she was completely oblivious to the plans of assault currently swirling inside her prey's baneful head. "Perhaps you'd rather spend the rest of my period outside, taking post to guard the room from unwanted intrusion? At least you can be useful that way…"

The titterings grew louder much to the damn sensei's pleasure made too evident by the unduly wide sneer on her face as she added, "Or can't you stand a single minute without basking in Yamazaki-kun's charms?"

Needless to say, the innocently heedless lady got herself a direct hit! That and the uncontrolled giggles that followed went right on target. Killua's fractious cells went all out ballistic and he had to forcibly bend his head to hide the ominous smile struggling to stretch his lips to its full length. The uncomfortable stirs behind him seemed to be demanding for attention but like before, he was too disturbed to care…

He was just about to stand up to satisfy his starving killer instincts when the front door suddenly slid open with an urgency that deftly snapped him back to life to stare and goggle at the most intoxicating sight that had ever assaulted his girl-repellant, if not totally absent, pubescent hormones. 

Killua's testosterone count seemed to double up in a rush as his eyes locked with those sparkling jades of the huffing and puffing young lady at the doorway…

**-----------0-----------**

Syaoran wheezed faintly as the perniciously threatening force once again vanished without a single trace. He stared with narrowed eyes at the suspicious kid in front of him and was not prepared for what he saw. It was so revolting that it instantly nettled him, angered him up to the point of wanting to strangle that darn creep. How dare he! How dare that… that airhead stare like that at the doorway. At… At his KOI!

"Sakura Kinomoto!" Tanaka-sensei, their junior high adviser and History teacher exclaimed in mock astonishment. "What a pleasant surprise! You're a little earlier today!"

Syaoran gritted his teeth in restrained resentment almost at the same time as a low growl scraped the spike-haired's throat. This rather unexpected reaction amused and at the same time disturbed the young Chinese guy. He may hate the thought of it, but one thing was by now clear. Even after only seconds of seeing her, **the kid** had undoubtedly developed the same kind of passion he had for Sakura. Perhaps not really as intense, but ain't its mere presence bothering enough?

"S-Sumimasen," Sakura mumbled, smiling off the nervousness she was feeling while rubbing her forefinger naively to her temple. She was a sight to behold and pity, but the sensei unfortunately didn't have a heart susceptible enough for such kinds of emotion.

"Care to take your post?" the statement came more like an order than a question as the bakemono gave the clearly stammering girl a taunting sneer.

"Hai," Sakura replied quietly. Stifled giggles were heard around the room as she prudently closed the door on herself. 

If only it weren't a crime to kill someone, Syaoran swore he could've strangled this scathingly wordy lady to death. It was bad enough that she had made his friend Yamazaki--who was practically blushing and steaming from head to toe at the moment--part of her cruel jokes for the day, but did she also have to gain on his koi like that?

Not that it's anything new anyway. There had always been a day or two in a week when Sakura came rushing in late for class. And as a rule, latecomers were doomed to spend the rest of the period outside, standing by the door to (hopefully) sink in shame and remorse and at the same time think of a better plan to get their sorry @$$es early enough to school the following day.

__

Sheesh! Syaoran's mind snarled as guilt began to flood his nerves. He should've insisted on picking her up from her house earlier this morning when she called on the phone. But she was so convincing in telling him that she would be fine and that she didn't want him to wear himself out walking from his house to hers, then from there to school that he just had to believe her. It was like a universal rule for him… He found it so easy to believe her… To take everything she said to heart… And now look what it had amounted to!

He wondered what had come up this time that added yet another tardiness up her record and a dent on her already tattered reputation…

"And where do you think you're going?" the wrathful exclamation from that injurious lady shook Syaoran out of his deep musings, only to realize that the spike-haired kid had vacated his seat and was now casually walking toward the door. His hands were dug deep in the pockets of his pants and he was even faintly whistling for God's sake--like he didn't have a single care in the world!

"I find your class senseless and boring," **the kid** said matter-of-factly, which all but made the she-tiger's nostrils fume. Then upon reaching the door, he regarded her with a sneer over his shoulders and added, "I think I'll take your advice and make good use of myself. Ja!" With that, he opened the door, stepped out and closed it behind him, leaving two steaming souls to drown in their own respective furies.

"Damn these kids!" Tanaka-sensei snarled, wearily slapping a hand to her forehead.

__

Kuso! Syaoran's mind cried even as he attempted desperately to think of a way to offend that bakemono and get his @$$ out of that room too. Anything to stop that creep from making advances on his girl…

**-----------0-----------**

Meilin couldn't believe what she just heard. It was either Syaoran had gone mad or some alien disguised as him had been sent to take his place. She watched in startled awe as the she-tiger's face pale then subsequently turn into an infernal shade of red before she cried out in all her wrathful disgrace, "OUT! GET OUT OF THIS ROOM!"

Syaoran shrugged and, vacating the seat to her left, made his way a little too hastily to the door as though he couldn't wait to depart that place. Meilin could only stare on in perplexity until she caught a trace of agitation in his frown. That was only when the deal began to gradually dawn on her…

"Oooh, this is getting exciting!" the girl at the seat to her right remarked in an unduly enthusiastic whisper. There was even an accompanying grin of delight on her lips that all but made the Chinese lass roll her eyes and sigh at the sheer dumbness of it all. Tomoyo Daidouji, Sakura's ever loyal best friend, now also her supposed buddy through thick and thin, had never really changed much over the years she had known her. Anything about Sakura still excited this girl to the excess. Meilin bet that if Tomoyo were only able to pull out her camera and get everything that had just happened on video without nettling the lady bakemono, she would be more irritatingly happier than she already was.

It was indeed amusing, though, as Meilin herself would admit. But she was also sensing trouble. She knew it wasn't like Syaoran to cuff a guy just because of jealousy-- Then again, it wasn't like Killua either to take sudden interest on a girl as though some deceased Casanova's soul had possessed him or something!

It was surprising enough to see that annoyingly dense pervert stare at Sakura as though he had never ever seen anyone or anything like her before. And hearing Syaoran say those unduly offensive words to their sensei as though he had been a derelict all his life was just as shockingly off as Tomoyo saying, "Sakura sucks!"

Meilin gulped and stared unseeingly into space. Being kids like her who had a handful of fickle hormones to alter their behavior in a matter of seconds, who knew how much more these guys could do in their desire to shake the living daylights off each other's stupid heads?

"I want out, too," she was surprised to hear herself actually say something like that as she gradually came back to her senses and realized she had just jumped up to her feet and was staring the fuming sensei down with silent defiance.

"Meilin-chan," Tomoyo's reproof of concern simply flew pass her ears as she took the first few steps toward the door. She was, however, halted midway through by the sensei's angry snarl bouncing off the confines of that utterly irksome place.

"Anybody else who find my class dull and stupid, do the rest of your classmates a favor and depart the room NOW!" Tanaka-sensei's eyes almost bulged out in anger as she practically steamed from head to toe.

She was already a horrible sight than how she normally was, but Meilin was not the kind of girl to get affected by something like that. She merely shrugged and resumed her walk despite the deadly glare the bakemono was giving her, which was shortly consorted by a series of hushed and not-so-hushed whispers resonating around the room. And as she was just about to jerk the door open, the deafening grind of metal chair legs against the floor rebelliously announced that she was not, after all, alone in her feat.

"What the--" Tanaka-sensei exclaimed, staring in utter disbelief as each one of her students nonchalantly shuffled out of the room, looking a little too delighted at having finally found an excuse to leave her class.

Meilin, initial purpose now forgotten, was utterly amused and couldn't help but snicker at their sensei's misfortune. Even the class goody-goody smart@$$ Takashi Yamazaki--though being dragged rather roughly by his sort-of-girlfriend, Chiharu Mihara--left the poor hag alone to wallow in her misery.

And the snicker all but turned into loud, roaring laughter when the sensei shortly stormed out of the room, growling and grumbling over her complete humiliating downfall in the hands of mere teenage kids. Meilin bet that the bakemono--their fifth for this month, actually--would never dare show her face again in their class!

The victorious whoop that subsequently grated each kid's throat nearly shook the building off its impregnable structure. The other innocent classes were disrupted and angry heads popped out of the doors one by one to snap them off to silence. Meilin, while still grinning with pleasure, could almost already hear their principal's angry voice booming in tomorrow's assembly, "You KIDS are gonna be the death of this school!"

And, well, ain't that exactly what they all were? KIDS--in all the glory and accompanying disaster of the word… Maa, was it their fault that no sensei was ever good enough to tolerate that simple fact of nature?

**==tbc==**

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A/N: *sigh* The glory of High School! Hehehehe… poor sensei, ne? I am just so reminded by the older days-- when seeing a pissed off bakemono [a.k.a. sensei] was as normal as eating cereals in the morning! Hahahaha!!! KIDS, indeed!

Leave a mark that you've been here by reviewing. Thanks a bunch! ^_____^ 


	8. Syaoran POV

SYAORAN

(POV)

DANGER. There is danger lurking in our midst and I just know it.

Okay, you might think I'm a little too pessimistic and all that, but my instincts have never been wrong. After all, it wouldn't hurt to be a little cautious at times--especially in the presence of such a detestable entity cloaked in an amalgam of death and mystery…

There is no mistaking the infernal force I feel whenever that kid is around. It is noxious… Burning my nerves with an almost injurious feeling… An unbearable heat…

And it's not much of a comforting thought, either, that he can draw this much effect on me while still restraining whatever foreboding, evil vim he has kept deep within his abrasively intriguing persona.

It should be pretty obvious by now how much I hate that kid's guts--and I'm betting my life he does mine too. I cannot remember ever loathing anyone as much as I loathe him, and I make sure to let him know that every time we cross paths and get a chance to stare each other down.

Whatever made Meilin so willing to play Good Samaritan to this stranger in the first place is totally beyond me. We don't even know where he came from or where he's coming from and what he was or is_ exactly. He never even told us anything about himself aside from his name and doesn't seem willing at all to discuss anything about his life._

"This is now. I am here with you now. Why would you care about my past?"

Yeah right, kid. Well, here's what I have to say to you:

You would've been able to run that by Meilin's naivete, but you don't stand a chance at making me resolve to such crap.

'Coz your being here now is the very thing about you that bothers me so, more than your enigmatic past or your hidden abilities_._

I am not scared of you and am pretty sure I will never be. After all, nothing frightens Syaoran Li more than losing his girl--aside, of course, from my imposingly creepy okaa-san, but that's beside the whole point!

If you're planning on snatching my girl right under my nose, I'll have you know that you're not the only being with some hidden abilities_ around here. I swear I'll make you regret you ever set foot on this place._

If you ever decide on showing me your true color, don't worry 'coz I'll be more than ready to meet you head on.

You should be able to figure it out by now. Or if your brain cells are too busy withering at the thought of my girl, I'll just have to rephrase it in simpler words for you:

BACK OFF, KID!

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A/N: Wow, how long has it been? Gomen, gomen for a very very very very looooooooooooooong delay! I kinda lost inspiration in writing this fiction with everything I had to do, but now that I have time spilling from my hands, I'm back again for another installment. I plan on finishing this as soon as possible, but I don't want to force it out of me when I don't have the zest to write, either. Believe me, it would be a disaster!

So bear with me, onegai?

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH to all of yah wonderful people who have reviewed this fic-- **PrincessFlorea**, **crystal-eidolon**, **Jia Li Labyrinth**, **Reality2Anime**, **hana-lai**, **amethyst-eyed**, **Lili**, **Masami**,** Ghost**, **Kolinshar Benito**, **Aeris**, **JaideD-14**, **C.M Aeris Queen of Insanity.**

About adding in more characters from Hunter X Hunter, I'll definitely get to that

About my characters being OOC, gomen! I try hard to keep them as in-character as possible, but, oh well, it always happens! Really sorry.

Syaoran may seem OOC in this POV, but nobody really knows what goes on inside that reticent kid's head, right? How much creepy and grotesque thoughts he is capable of---oh, never mind!

About Killua's teasing nature and Meilin getting a kick out of him, I got that idea from the elevator incident they had in the sky battle arena. Where Killua was saying all these nasty things to the elevator girl who ended up beating the hell out of him and poor Gon. That's really funny and is one of my favorite Killua-gets-kicked-in-the-ass moments. Remember the second time he even commented about the elevator girl being stronger than Hisoka?

About Killua escaping his fate, I never said he could… I just asked is it possible? We'll all see at the end of this fiction what my take on this matter will be.

About adding in more chapters, I've got a new one in the next page. And I'll try to do as much as this summer would allow me.

Again THANK YOU VERY MUCH! God knows I can never thank you enough

On with the next chapter!


	9. Chapter Four: Claws

Here's the next chapter! I know it's been long overdue, but please bear with me. I hope this is long enough to compensate for my absence. Thank you for allotting some of your time on this humble fic of mine!

**CHAPTER FOUR: CLAWS**

The images slithering through his head were as real as though he was once again experiencing that night. There was much chase and bloodshed in it to keep any normal kid awake for the rest of their traumatized lives, but Killua Zoldick--try as he might to force it into himself--was far from being normal. So no matter how hard he wanted to open his eyes, they just wouldn't budge, keeping him an unwilling captive to the gory recollection of that certain part of his dark past.

Conveniently enough, he alone was aware of this, thus sparing any outside gawker from the disturbing acquaintance of his repulsively tainted being.

The cold, evil side of his soul.

Even the prying raven-haired Chinese girl standing beside the bed with a frown of sheer curiosity marring her innocent face would never know the depths of the silver-haired kid's misery, the profundity of his chasmal agony. No one would ever do… Not unless he became the kid himself, suffer the same life as he had and have every tormenting bit of it haunt his dreams for the rest of his life.

No one would ever see the eerie memories of that fateful night through the pained, contorted face alone. The indiscernible mumblings and convulsive twitchings only hinted, though rather deviously, the amount of throe the kid was currently going through.

"K-Killua-kun?" Before she was even aware of it, Meilin had already settled her snoopy ass discreetly on the bed, her muliebral weight making the resilient cushion bounce slightly. She called his name again, this time reaching out one impertinent hand to give the mumbling kid a wicked shove out of whatever nightmare was plaguing his haunted head. She, however, got a mere stifled groan for an answer before the slumbering form casually rolled on his side, turning a rigid back on her as though obliquely telling her to get lost.

_Creep, her mind screamed in exasperation as she obstinately delivered another fierce nudge on the insolent guy's shoulder._

"Teme!" a stifled groan of irritation rumbled from the depths of the soporific kid's throat. And suddenly, there was a dreadful, discomfiting thickness in the air that made the intrusive hand draw back, the slitty chestnut-colored eyes taking on a cautious spark as a set of irked, receptive cells turned the fiercely frowning youth flat on his back.

The still very nibby Chinese lass remained unmoved from her post, watching with heightened discretion as the angry contortion on the silver-haired lad's face became grimmer, almost murderous. She kept watch as the kid began struggling against some force that he alone was seeing--and feeling--in his dream. She felt a hint of apprehension flooding her nerves, though couldn't quite tell whether it was for the kid, or for herself.

"Yameru!" was the sudden angered wail that came rushing through the pale, trembling lips. And no amount of human prudence could've prepared Meilin Li for what happened next.

Stunned and bewildered out of her wits, she nimbly jumped off soon enough to save her face from being scraped off by those mean looking nails that had mysteriously grown on the boy's right hand. A veiny, right hand was the exactest way of describing it.

A veiny, right hand with mean looking nails--like the claws of a beast!

Meilin hardly felt the rattling impact of the floor against her rear. The next thing she knew she was looking straight into those large, terrified eyes of the stranger who had nearly cut all terrestrial breaths out of her as long, severed strands of black hair created a nonchalant downpour on the empty space between them.

"What's wrong with you!" she choked out a scream as large specks of tears began forming a winding, salty trail down her wan cheeks.

"So… Sorry," the kid himself choked on his reply, turning his tear-glazed eyes on his now very normal-looking right hand. "I… They… They were gonna hurt him! I… I had to… I had to save Gon! They were gonna…" He sniffed and sobbed pathetically like a little child that Meilin had no other choice but to forget about her plans of retaliation and just leave the room while she still had a bit of her considerate side left within her.

"I…" Killua whispered bitterly in the suffocating hollowness that descended upon the room as soon as the door closed rather violently, distinctly reflecting the wrathful fright of another friend he had just lost.

"I… had to… save him…" He gasped as he saw a vision of his blood-drenched hand. A clear memory of that dreadful night he had to breach on his words, his vow to discard his slaying ways for the sake of a friend, yet despite this fail to keep that said friend close to him… Losing him in such a dreadful, inculpating way.

He felt bad that he broke his promise in front of his dying friend, in spite of the scrupulous kid's choked, sharp screams of reproof, of wrathful admonition. Until now, he could still hear that angry, raspy voice shouting, "Killua, yameru!" as he carried on his thoughtless, pitiless requital on their assailants.

Gon wouldn't have minded if they were acting on their own will. But those freaks had merely been innocent minors turned into brainless puppets designed to answer to their weasly master's diabolical biddings.

This fact had deftly slipped his mind the moment they began gaining on his friend. He was left with no other choice as an uncontrollable wave of wrath took over him in a rush. He had to save him after all, and that's exactly what he did. But he was too blinded by rage to notice one sly pawn creeping up to him from behind. He never noticed Gon coming up to him until the stealthy kid had hugged him tightly, using his fragile body to shield him from the frenzic attacks of the wailing man.

His friend willingly gave up his life in exchange for his. And as he watched him smile up at him for the last time, before completely letting go of his breath and slumping dead on the ground, Killua lost whatever morsel of sense he had left in him and attacked the man, venting all his anger out at him until he was nothing but an unnoticeable glob of flesh and blood.

He could still vividly remember how tightly he had cuddled his friend after that, amidst those mangled corpses slowly losing their no-good lives to death--his own bloody handiwork.

Somehow, he felt like he was solely to blame for what had happened. Aside from being the cause of Gon's unbidden death, he failed every inch of his friend's fair, unbiased judgment of him, every ounce of his expectations.

He had killed again. Killed with more merciless abandon than ever, right before his friend's very eyes…

Perhaps, it wasn't really because of companionship, but of extreme disappointment that the young licensed hunter fainly acted on that suicidal impulse to save his blasted life.

Gon didn't deserve him. Nobody did. And ever would.

Not that cute girl he met on his first day in school, who eventually became his good friend after just a few days…

Not that cute girl's cute friend with the annoying camera…

Definitely not that Chinese prick who had always been after his throat…

And… Never that Chinese prick's Chinese cousin whom he had almost killed… The feisty girl who had Gon's eyes and hair… and guts. The one he had initially believed to be his saving grace… The friend he had just lost.

The sobs began racking up him in convulsive chains, almost like the way it did so on that night--perhaps, more. He cried for his best friend. He cried for all the days he had let himself believe in the illusion of a simple, normal life he knew he would never have.

He cried like there was gonna be no tomorrow.

He cried like he had never done so before. So hard that each tear scathed his soul… Each choking whimper sliced through the very depths of his heart.

His heart. His beating, breathing weakness.

**-----------0-----------**

No matter how hard and stubbornly he tried to deny it, Syaoran knew something was amiss. It wasn't only that a great length of his cousin-cum-ex-fiancée's hair had mysteriously disappeared, leaving in its wake a plain bob that was not even half as alluring as the truncated cascade of silky locks. It wasn't merely the disturbing silence the usually babbly lass carried on at breakfast, passively yet resolutely refusing to give even a mote of rational explain as to why she was so suddenly sporting a new look for the weekend. It seemed that the dolt had even made Wei-san vow not to open his mouth on the matter!

And it definitely wasn't that the kid, was nowhere to be seen--on the table, in his room nor anywhere else around the house.

Well, okay, so maybe it was. To the littlest degree. The inflexible Chinese guy wasn't about ready to admit that he was missing his blasted rival after all that had happened in the past few days!

He didn't know why, but he suddenly felt it was his prerogative right to ask about their guest's whereabouts. Yeah, that stranger was their guest, after all. And curse these people for making him feel so left out on whatever friggin' mystery there was surrounding that prick's sudden disappearance. Nobody should dare keep a young master in the dark--especially not in his very own house!

"Where is he?" Syaoran asked in his firm, quiet voice, intending to force some answers out of anyone-- like it always did--without abandoning his usual respectful reserve.

Not on this certain day, though.

"I'm done," was all the answer he got from Meilin, before she pushed her chair off and silently walked out of the dining room, dull chestnut eyes unwaveringly glued on the ground she was walking on. Perhaps, even beyond it.

Syaoran didn't bother calling out to her anymore, knowing full well nothing could possibly sway the girl's stubborn resolve. And finding no one else in the room aside from Wei staring silently at him from the opposite side of the table, the awfully irked Chinese lad turned to him and stated, rather than asked, "You're not gonna tell me anything."

Wei shook his head slowly and put on a rather sympathetic look on his face, "There is nothing I know that I can possibly tell you, Syaoran. Sumimasen."

The young kid sighed loudly in resignation as he put his utensils down beside his plate of untouched omelet, all the while keeping his usual well-mannered, gentle approach to everything despite the wave of resentment welling up in each of his fragile nerves.

"There's one thing, though," Wei, probably sensing the wrath his young master had been trying to bottle up within him, proceeded to add. He went on only after making sure he got the brunet's full attention--the kid sat still in his chair, sending a questioning scowl his way. "Even though she's still too freaked to admit it right now, Meilin would surely want to talk to him after a while. You have to find him, Syaoran."

Syaoran's brows crossed at the proposition--a mandate stated almost pleadingly by the old butler whose decisions he had always respected and adhered to like a young kid would to his father's decrees.

And despite all the dissension he got from the majority of his brain cells, he soon found himself walking down the neighborhood, caught up in his resolve to find that insufferable prick. He should be happy now that the mysterious stranger had unwillingly departed his abode, right? But it took only Wei's pithy words lingering on and on in his head to make him change his mind…

_"Your cousin has always done everything she can to make you happy. It's time you do something for her in return…"_

_tbc__…_

_Note: Okay, I admit it was pretty short. I intend to put all other things as well as a few flashbacks into what happened from Killua's first day in school to the weekend he suddenly disappeared in the next chapter, which I'll post up as soon as I'm done with it. Until then, minna-san. Thanks again!_


	10. Illumi POV

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A/N: Okay here's the next installment. Told you I'll be posting this up right away

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ILLUMI

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(POV)

Do you have any idea how much I envy you?

I bet you don't. 'Coz if you do, you wouldn't go around running like a headless, brainless chicken, trying desperately to fit into the rest of the world--the rest of it that doesn't want you. Why are you striving too hard to weld into a life you know would eventually banish you 'coz you are different?

You are evil.

You are a Zoldick.

I doubt you are even aware of the wonder of your fate, of your life and heritage.

I doubt you are even aware of the wonder that is you.

'Coz if you are, you wouldn't go about this stubborn resolve of yours to stay as far away from home as possible. Live among those creeps you call 'friends'.

I have never stopped wondering how long you are gonna be able to keep them as that--'friends'--before you finally decide you're tired of them and eventually label them as 'preys'. Your unknowing, helpless victims.

'Coz when you think about it, it all comes down to that, doesn't it?

You are a wreck, Kil. I only have to look at you to know how much damage that kid had done to you.

Did you really think he could change your fate? Or was this whole friendship-crap just an excuse to study him, watch him grow into a rival worthy of your strength and time?

Was he really your friend or had he been, in his inferiority, a mere stimulant to make you feel good about yourself?

Are you feeling sorry for his death, or sorry because someone had unexpectedly beaten you to it?

It could be one, could be the other. It could even be all of the above, who knows? Nobody's really been able to understand your sly head, Kil. I doubt you even do yourself.

Life was so much easier when you weren't faced with such suffocating dilemmas, wasn't it? If you had listened to me the first time and stayed home, none of this would've happened. No friend… No guilt-trips… No big, fat conscience following you around… Is this what you really want, huh? To feel all these things that a normal kid feels? Live the tormenting life of these creeps? You've been defying your fate, your family, ME, for these? Are they really worth it?

I've spent most of my time training you to be the competent heir to the family's business, though the mere truth of that had always made me question my competence and integrity as the eldest son. I've spent more time on you than I ever did on myself 'coz I thought training the successor was the next best thing to being one.

You owe me your life, Kil. I could've easily killed you then, but I did not. Do you ever wonder why?

Because Aniki values you very much. You are the product of my many years of sacrifice. Of the many lies I've instilled into your callow head. You belong to me.

And I alone have the right to claim you, do you understand that?

You've been away long enough, dear little brother. Everybody misses you already.

I do, immensely.

You don't need to force yourself in this quagmire of torture they call life, anymore. Let us put an end to this suffering.

Aniki's coming to pick you up and take you home.

Back where you belong.

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Note: I've always thought of Illumi as a possessive brother. How rather 'anxious' he was to kill Gon before the latter could get to where his brother was because he's got a nagging feeling the kid was gonna steal his little brother away… at least, that's how I see it. It could be that he was just too itching to get somebody killed, or merely scale Gon's skills to find out the reason why Killua's so drawn to him… But of course I chose not to consider these possibilities in writing this POV. The latter sounds probable, but the former is simply dumb.

Truth be told, I admire Illumi. Not as much as I do, Killua, but still… I don't really want him to sound too evil or heartless in this fic. Thus I took much care in writing this POV. Of course there's the thing about Gon, but we all know he's never liked him in the first place, ne. Which is such a shame, since he seems to be the only character who abhors cute little Gon this much.

The next chapter would have to wait. Hope you can bear with me till then! Arigatou gozaimashita!


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